I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
