Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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