batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
