weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Randomize