I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
