After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
