its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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