Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
