it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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