i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Randomize
