I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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