I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
