Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize