Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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