i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
my liver is dry heaving
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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