After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
birth control should be required to get into college
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
