i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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