I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
