my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
