What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
