everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
can u get pink eye on your cock?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I need to align my fucking chakras
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize