Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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