Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
