Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
