I can tuck mytits in my pants
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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