Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
