he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
