she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
