hotel room ftw
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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