My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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