There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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