I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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