You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
