I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
