im drinking this country out of the recession.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
