i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize