sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
