low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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