on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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