Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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