Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize