Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
