Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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