she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
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