This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
