The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
