People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
