Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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