he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
