Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
