Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
