I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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