so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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