so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Randomize
