shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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