he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
