ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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