Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
